OK so I have been debating whether to keep going with this writing streak. Many posts have been meh, obligatory , pushing the peas around the plate . I was also thinking about throwing in the towel for the marathon. Cover the 2000 fundraising requirement and chalk it up to unexpected expenses. Sometimes things break down.
Right now I am in a much more important race close to home. I don’t know if it’s a sprint, a marathon, or a relay. Maybe I’m supposed to be swimming instead of running. Maybe I’m barreling in the wrong damn direction.
I think of all the people who manage to do so much. Who have challenges but still manage to eke out space to do what needs to be done and what wants to be done. Of course we can’t have it all. This isn’t one of my laments about real and perceived productivity. OK maybe it’s a close cousin but this is more about setting boundaries…not with people but time and bandwidth.
Time is one of our most precious resources.
speaking of time I am going to hit publish now do i don’t lose my steak tonight at least
OK back to business. We move through time in different ways. There’s how we show up in spaces and other people’s lives and how we show up for ourselves.
argh I can picture what I want to say but can’t figure it out.
like sometimes moving through time feels like trying to rub my belly and pat my head simultaneously.
what does it matter? what am I trying to do here? I am not even boosting these posts (though I think I’ll share this one with a few friends so if you are reading… thank you).
I think I want to keep this writing streak going because it’s a thread connecting tumultuous days. I don’t need to share details . Maybe it’s like that catching a breath moment when swimming.
And in a weird way, even when I am moving peas around the plate, it’s a space I’m claiming as my own.
I am also not ready to give up on the marathon because I know I can walk it if I need to and I have three months to fundraise.
For now I need to be OK with one day at a time. One day more.