11:11

When I catch the clock at 11:11, I gear up to make a wish, but then I get so tangled up in what ifs and disclaimers, like I’m crafting a release of liability form, that it’s 11:12 before I settle on how to parse the wish.

And now it’s 11:15. I tentatively wished to feel like I have a sense of purpose.Lots of loopholes and possible dangers there. Ah well.

Bought an electric shawl today. Early Christmas present. Who knows. I suspect we will make the 60 bucks back pretty quickly in savings from me not turning up the heat for this entire three flat when I’m working from home, the only one in 4200 square feet. Well, there’s Rumor too, but she hasn’t complained about the temperature.

Today I did most of the things I said I was going to do. it was a modest list but still…it’s progress I guess.

Cried when I stepped into Macy’s from the pedway. It’s the day before Thanksgiving, and I am missing my kid. Missing buying licorice jelly beans from the candy counter that’s so high I can’t read the credit card reader perched on its sloping the edge. Walking by the toys and children’s books, aching for do-overs. Turning away from the ornaments. Now is not the time to spend money and who knows what Christmas will look like anyway. I usually get one for each of us. Perhaps this year it’s particularly important to keep that tradition alive.

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