instant gratification

CW: This post is about weight and body image stuff.

I don’t like to write about weight. Don’t want to feed into messed up norms about how bodies should look. Don’t want to conflate weight with health. Don’t want it to matter to me.

The good news, as I have written about before, is that I am not wasting much brain space on the scale, pants size or appearance. But I’d also be lying if I said I didn’t care at all. Some of it is vanity. But it’s also about health maintenance, functional movement, and physical comfort.

My lack of consistency and follow through is what’s frustrating me the most. I know what I need to do and it’s really not all that epic. Just be more mindful about food and activity (plus no booze!) If all I do is follow the guidelines I set forth the other day, I’ll be a little stronger and leaner in 5 weeks. I checked everything off for today. Even did a proper yoga class after dinner

I have been weighing myself in the mornings and yesterday I was all excited bc I had dipped a few pounds from two days before. Today I was back to baseline. Hmmm… maybe I just had not fully rehydrated after running 19 miles the previous day.

It’s all good though. I don’t deal with chronic pain, my mobility is still fine, my doctor has not sounded alarms (as of last year… eek, next annual is the end of the month). I just need to inch my way forward.

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