This tool a different turn than I meant but I don’t want to keep poking since i do want to get up early enough to swim.

Dropped our teen at camp in Michigan today. This involved about 7 hours of driving of which I did about 30 harrowing (for me) minutes. Two lane, high speed, winding, hilly rural roads* are almost as terrifying as highway driving, maybe moreso in a way because people can pass me on the highway. If I’m tentative on a narrow, no passing road, then I’m irking the people behind me. Even if I’m doing the speed limit, I start getting a little stressed when a car enters the rear window line of sight….which means it’s still pretty far away but I know enough math and common sense to know they will be up my butt soon. Maybe we need to bring a “student driver” sign for whenever I take the wheel so folks will give a wide berth. I don’t like being in people’s way if I can help it, just as I appreciate people yielding to me when I am biking or running as appropriate. But I don’t want to get into vulnerability/speed/right of way matrices right now.

What I meant to write about is that I’m not giving my self a hard time for being inactive today but I do want to hop on the 7am bike to the lake train with my friends. I tossed and turned most of last night so I got everything prepped up for tomorrow in the hopes that I can just wake up and go.

* These roads actually had gentle turns and barely discernable elevation changes. The issue is that I am not a driver. Have never owned a car. Lack of experience has been self reinforceing. I’d rather merge into a highway on a bicycle than on a car.( I know this from experience.) My foot barely reaches the gas pedal and my eyes are barely above the steering wheel. OK that last one is an exaggeration, but I do often have to sit up very straight to see what’s cresting a hill towards me. Being directionally challenged does not help. But being scared about driving is one thing I refuse to be ashamed of.

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