little things

I didn’t bike to Old Town to get new running shoes today but since both marathon plans call for rest on Monday, I’m letting it slide. Alas, I tend to take inactivity to an extreme, but at least I got the dog out on a hot midday walk with a friend. I even did a few arm movements with the 5 pound weights collecting dust in my office. Have no idea if they were of proper form but something is probably better than nothing.

I’m kinda getting into the lip quivering, blurry phone zone because tomorrow’s the summer solstice.

According to recent insights and commitments to new skills, I guess I am supposed to feel the feels for a bit.

OK 3 minutes later… so I need to review my notes because intentionally allowing myself to experience emotion, yielding to it like we are supposed to do when rolling out our IT bands (ouch ouch ouch!) still put me back in my head.

I am not my emotions. I am experiencing feelings of sadness.

Wait. Am I doing this right? Is this cognitive distortion? Do I need to challenge my thoughts about the solstice or is this a moment that calls for radical acceptance? Shut up brain and go back to the emotion. Don’t talk to yourself like that. Really? Are we doing this eliding meta pinball machine again?

But actually, my lip is now calm and the letters crisp again (as crisp as these glasses can get them to be). I think I am on the right track.

I just thought of my favorite moment in Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (or one of the other Adams’ books) We learn to fly by missing the ground.

Maybe that’s what I am doing with…. what? my brain? mental health? I really need to get my terms straight.

Anyhoo, I am also wondering why Susan Cooper didn’t write a summer solstice poem and so I think I am going to write one tomorrow.

Dammit. The letters got blurry again.

Double anyhoo. I am going to try to get some zzzz bc I want to get up in time to see the sunrise at Bloomhenge, 5:13am

triple anyhoo, I didn’t mean to go in this direction. I titled this Little Things because although today wasn’t as mission focused as I would like, I did enough nibbling at the margins to claim that the streak continues.

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