Monthly Archives: March 2020

My Hands are Clean

All this hand washing is bad for my manicure!

(written on the run on my phone and I’m a terrible speller so… Please don’t judge mistakes)

I do wash my hands after using the restroom. However, in most respects I am below average, maybe even bottom quartile, when it comes to cleanliness.

As with the reports of red wine being good for us (anti oxidants),* I seize on news that says we should embrace dirt (depression busting microbes!) and even germs (build up that immunity!). Bathing everyday is bad for your skin? Excellent! I hate getting wet. And my bottle of shampoo has lasted a looooooong time. Good for the scalp and better for the environment.

When black twitter lights up about how unhygienic white folks can be, I sometimes feel seen. For example, I may or may not have been someone who thinks standing in the shower counts as washing your feet. I’m better about that now. When I bother to bathe.

We live in new times. But most of the advice spreading faster than the Corona virus consists of reminders of what we should have been doing all along. Washing hands with gusto, not to virtue signal. Refraining from fiddling with your face. Sanitizing key surfaces. Staying home when sick (yeah good luck with that in our culture). Being mindful of oozing wounds.

I’m writing this while on the train to Midway. Helps keep my hands off the seats and my eyes (though my phone is probably gross). I’m flying to Phoenix for a weekend for a mini reunion with college friends. Spread across three coasts, the last time we converged was maybe ten years ago with our wee children and husbands in tow. I can’t remember the last time it was just the four of us.

Thankfully, they share some of my feral views even if not my sloppy habits. The trip is on, but not without some anxiety on my part.

That I will be kicked off the plane for being perceived as sick. Even with daily allergy rx, I’m usually somewhere on the coughing sniffling continuum. Before I left, I tossed back some cold medicine to try to help suppresses any fake symptoms. I also packed some more tablets but what happens if security sees them and thinks I’m trying to sneak something past them?

That I will somehow get stuck in Arizona. While I wouldn’t mind some extra days of warmth, I’ll be missing my family and I’m administering midterms next week. I prepared by leaving copies of every thing they need at work in case someone has to cover for me.

That I will get sick. Well, I’m not super worried about that but….. I did step up my game a bit. Noticed that the wreckage of a hang nail was getting hot and proto oozy. Scrubbed my hands, put some ointment on and added a bandaid. Stuffed my purse with extra bandaids, two packs of tissues (to be used discreetly of course), two small bottles of hand sanitizer*, and clorox wipes. If I add anything else, I’ll be asked to check my purse as luggage.

I’m at the gate, surprised that the flight is full. The Cubs jerseys remind me that spring is underway. Apparently baseball thirsty fans are not easily daunted. Here’s to the antiseptic qualities of sunshine!

*conveniently skimming the warnings about moderation.

*Not something we usually have. When I went low key prepper shopping this weekend, there weren’t many left on the shelf. I resisted the urge to scoop them all up. Don’t give into panic!

Is it a purse or a suitcase? Reminds me of the diaper bag days.