On May 31st, I splurged on the top shelf red wine at Armitage Produce—10 vs 5 bucks. And as the evening waned, I pawed through the bag of “for my students” goodies for some Little Debbie Nutty Buddy Bars.* I even tried to savor instead of snarf them.
Per my therapist’s orders, during the month of June, I am going to. . . I want to say try, but ugh I need to be more ambitious. For the next 30 days, I am going to:
- exercise a lot more
- eat a lot better? less? more strategically?
- write it all down
I have gained almost 25 pounds since last spring, after having lost almost that much in the previous two and a half years. This 19% relatively rapid increase is a puzzle and is starting to become a concern because the chart keeps trending up. It’s a big shift for my 5′ 1″ inches.
Many variables might be at play. Perimenopause. Having been depressed. Being back on an anti-depressant. Working mostly from home.
And. . . perhaps. . .my dietary choices and activity levels. The truth is that I have been lazy with exercise and lax with portions, sweets, and wine. Last year, stabilizing my mood was the paramount health concern. Mission mostly accomplished, which is why we are reluctant to mess around with the medication. My annual physical is next week, so maybe that will yield more insights.
It’s aggravating to keep gaining weight even as I have eased back into running (but not enough to blame increased muscle on the scale–the waistbands don’t lie). Maybe what they say about age and metabolism is true and I simply need to adjust accordingly, not only in terms of behavior, but also outlook. If I have to accept a new baseline weight and build a new wardrobe, I can do that, though I am embarrassed to say it will be emotionally challenging. More on that another day.
In the meantime, I am going to (not try to) focus on the variables that are very much in my control: what I eat and how much I move. I don’t do well with restrictive rules, so instead of cutting booze, I am cutting wine. Instead of avoiding all sweets, I will stick with anything homemade and maybe the occasional square of dark chocolate. I am not going to freak out about diet, but am tracking via My Fitness Pal (under Velo_chicago). It’s amazing how quickly calories add up. And with that, I guess I should go for a run. Wahhhhh!
*It was a three hour class, so I always brought power bars and sweet treats. Next semester, perhaps I should lean more towards fruit.